Trixie is One

Happy Birthday big girl!

Talking About Death

After Iggy died, Conan naturally asked about him. Not too frequently (we've got three other cats to distract him) but once in a while he'd say "Where Iggy?" or "Iggy outside?" and I'd simply tell him that Iggy didn't live with us anymore. I was rather proud of this answer, since it is completely factual and doesn't raise any potentially uncomfortable or scary questions about death. Conan would accept this answer and usually change the topic (he's got the attention span of, well, a two-year-old).

Then one weeknight, as I was bustling around trying to get dinner on the table before we all got too cranky to eat, he asked again. Distracted, I blurted "Iggy doesn't live with us anymore, remember? He died." Ooops.

Conan's eyes got wide. You could see the gears turning as he pondered this new revelation. Uh-oh, I thought. This could get ugly. I was envisioning tears, wailing, maybe even nightmares. How can I explain death to a little child? Philosophers, religions, scientists and shamans have been trying to come to an understanding of death for centuries - and they weren't suddenly put on the spot in the middle of dinner.

Then, very seriously, Conan asked "And his tail died too?"
Yes, I said, and his tail too. "And his nose died too?" Yes, and his nose. "And his feets died too?" Yes, those too. We went through all the cat anatomy Conan has words for, and I confirmed that yes, they had all died.

Finally satisfied with body parts, Conan had one further question: "Iggy no eat cat food anymore?" Nope, I confirmed. Iggy doesn't eat cat food anymore.

And with that, Conan was content. Iggy died. All the parts of him died. He doesn't eat. Iggy doesn't live with us anymore, end of story. No crying, no wailing, no existential questions about the nature of life or death.

Someday, years from now, Conan will surely learn more about death and loss, as we all must. But I was really struck by the beauty of his acceptance of it, and the purity of his curiosity. And of course, relieved.

Swimming

Look at this cute little surfer dude! Conan has been taking swimming lessons at the city pool. He's really not a natural water baby, but the lessons are really helping him become more comfortable with getting wet. We've seen a big improvement in bathtime, although he still does NOT like to get his hair washed. He now likes to lie down in the tub and show us how he kicks his feet, which was unheard of before the lessons. He may not be the best swimmer in his class, but he's certainly the most improved!



We are on break between classes right now, but they'll start up again in April. Grandpa Dave has volunteered to take Conan to classes on Monday and Wednesday. Conan is really looking forward to it, and he asks nearly every day if he'll "go swimming at swimming pool today?" When I tell him no, not today, he responds with "Maybe Monday?"

We're Doomed

He's been able to open doors for a while, but now he has breeched our last line of defense: the baby gate. It's the end of an era...

Screen Time

I was talking to my good friend Charlotte last night, just catching up, when I mentioned the fact that Conan was watching a cartoon. She chuckled and said "You know, I think you apologize to me for what you let him watch every time I talk to you, these days."

Oh dear. Hmmm.

She's absolutely right. I do. I bring it up in conversation and then apologize for it, assuring whomever is listening that I *really* don't use the TV as a babysitter, that I carefully monitor everything he watches, that it's very high quality educational fare, and - MOST IMPORTANTLY - that since it's all on video (DVDs, Netflix, or YouTube) there's no exposure to commercials. But why? Do I really need to justify my choices on Conan's entertainment to everyone I talk to? (Well, apparently, yes I did.)

So I have decided to stop. Stop apologizing, that is. I hereby admit to the universe that I allow my two year old child to watch video programs, and I am OK with that.

I'll even go so far as to admit that sometimes I DO use the TV as a babysitter, or maybe it would be better termed "respite care" - it is so much easier to make dinner (and many other things) without his "help". Right this minute he's sitting on my lap watching Peep and Duck via YouTube on the second monitor, and therefore not trying to help me type. (You're welcome.)

I'll even own up to the fact that he often watches more than the one hour a day that American Pediatric Association says is the limit for this age. I mean, not all at once, but in 10 to 30 minute increments... oh wait, I'm doing it again.

Instead of feeling guilty about the amount of video entertainment Conan gets to watch, I'm going to focus on the benefits. Besides giving me a few much needed minutes of guaranteed kid-unencumbered time, the programs Conan watches are so educational they'll just about make your teeth hurt. Here are the shows I'm proud to say have made it into our repertoire. No more denial, no more apologies!

1. Peep and the Big Wide World (aka Peep and Duck)

This show is the best. The engaging characters explore the world and learn about physics, math, scientific reasoning and the natural world, all in an age appropriate way that Conan loves. Topics range from the changes of the seasons, how water flows, gravity, shadows, weather, identifying birds by their calls, principles of leverage, sharing, counting, navigation, colors, the phases of the moon, the dangers of walking out onto frozen lakes (it is a Canadian program, after all.) There are 90 some complete episodes on YouTube that I've collected into our playlist. And with narration by Joan Cusack and music by Taj Mahal, it doesn't irritate adults the way many kids shows do.

2. Wonder Pets

This one is pretty formulaic and repetitious, but Conan really seems to love that about it. I appreciate the themes of teamwork and helping others, although they are a bit heavy-handed for my taste. The animation, which incorporates photos and video footage of real places and things, is neat, and I like the fact that they have a 10-person live orchestra (plus guest artists as needed) performing the score of each show. This is the only show that has inspired Conan to incorporate the characters into his own play, and I have also heard him singing the music to himself. Very few episodes are available on the internet, but we watch it through Netflix play instantly.

3. Bob the Builder

This is a British stop-motion animated show about (surprise!) Bob the Builder and his crew of anthropomorphic construction machines. They build things and have adventures while learning about teamwork, basic construction, and recycling, among other topics. Long before we aquired any DVDs, we had picked up a Bob the Builder book at a yardsale, and Conan loved reading the book and naming all the machines. He was super excited to see them all come to life on the screen. They seem to be pretty good at keeping this one off of the internet, and it's not available on Netflix play instantly (though they do have the DVDs for mail out). We picked up two discs at the local consignment store for .99 each.

4. Wild Animal Baby

Wild Animal Baby is a magazine for toddlers published by the National Wildlife Foundation (they also publish My Big Backyard and Ranger Rick for older kids). Conan received a gift subscription for his first birthday, and really enjoyed it, so when we came across a couple Wild Animal Baby DVDs in the ultra-clearance bin at the grocery store we decided to go ahead and check them out. The show is pretty cute, with four animated Animal Baby Explorers going on adventures in the natural world to solve "wildlife mysteries" such as finding baby dragonflies, figuring out what animal buries acorns and why, and where the worms come from that they find on the ground after a rainstorm. There's real-life wildlife footage interspersed with the animation, some of it pretty spectacular. The biggest drawback to this show is that all the characters have annoying, high-pitched voices and are prone to bad puns. Conan doesn't seem to mind at all.

5. Which brings me to: Baby Wild Animals

The internet is absolutely full of videos of cute/funny/amazing animals. This is what started it all - we used to regularly sit in front of the computer together and watch animals in order to distract Conan enough to clip his finger and toenails, clean his ears, and even cut his hair. We'd watch horses running, ducks quacking, cows mooing, whales breaching, puppies frolicking, even an elephant pooping (that's a BIG favorite) on YouTube. You do have to watch out a bit, because some of what you find may feature some scary violence or some hard-to-explain mating behaviors (they're, um, wrestling) or suddenly evolve into a heavy metal video. Especially if it features tigers or wolves.

There are a few others that we watch from time to time, including Pocoyo, Kipper, Pingu and Caillou.

So there you have it - my secret shame is out of the bag - and it feels great. We've made a concious decision to allow Conan to watch some high quality, age-appropriate educational programs, and I hereby resolve to just let go of all that weird guilt I was carying about it. No advertisers are getting their hooks in him, we're careful about what he does watch, and we do place limits on how much he watches and when.

Now it's your turn - what are your kids watching? Because c'mon - even though no-one wants to talk about breaking the great video taboo, you know we're all doing it.

First ABC's

Conan is learning new things right and left these days. He talks all the time, and sings little nonsense songs to accompany his playing. He is talking in complete sentences now - and I don't mean simple, three word sentences. Last night before dinner he said "I have idea! Maybe I should eat chocolate now."

Impressed though I was by his verbal skills, he did not get any chocolate.

I have no idea when he started learning the alphabet song, but for a two year old he has a darn fine grasp on it. We didn't need those other letters anyhow.

Cousins

Conan and Chloe enjoy a nice cup of milk together. It's nice now that they are getting bigger and can really play together. :)

No More Bottles

It has now been two weeks since we "gave away" all our bottles. Gabe & "tiny tiny baby" Morgan were here for the weekend. We told Conan that since he was a big boy, we should give all his bottles to baby Morgan, because she needed them more. We mentioned it several times during the weekend, and then I let him see me put all the nipples, screw bands, inserts, tubes, lids, etc. into a bag, and take them out to the car. Of course, instead of actually going to Olympia with "tiny tiny baby" Morgan (who at 18 months old is really a big girl herself), the bottles actually went to the local consignment shop.

Conan was a little bit upset the first night, and has told us a few times that "miss mine bottle" but overall it has been a very smooth transition. He still has a cup of milk before bed, but he drinks it downstairs and then brushes his teeth before getting in his jammies and reading books. The only change in his sleeping habits we've noticed is that he is suddenly fascinated with sleeping on the floor, instead of in his bed, especially for naptime. Kind of strange, but no problem - we've got a small pile of blankets laid out on the floor for that. Probably just means it's time to get this big boy a real big boy bed!

Stitches

Yesterday afternoon, Conan dove face first into the hard wooden arm rest of a futon at a friend's house. It was over before any of the adults in the room even saw it coming. We tried to clean it up as best we could, but Conan was NOT inclined to cooperate. We didn't know if his nose was broken, or just cut, and either way he wouldn't let us apply any pressure to stop the bleeding, so I decided we needed to head to the ER. Cary was called and left home to meet us there.

Coming into the emergency room with a screaming bloody toddler gets attention. We were quickly moved into a private triage room. Conan cried and cried and cried. He did not want anyone to look at his owie. He did not want a hospital ID bracelet. He did not want to be weighed. He DEFINITELY did not want any topical anesthetic applied to his nose. He didn't even want a sticker.

Hardened ER Trauma nurses were wincing and covering their ears from his shrieks and wails. I was nearly in tears myself.

Eventually we made it through the initial evaluation, and were moved to a treatment room where we met with the Doctor. The anesthetic was taking effect, so Conan had calmed down a bit, but he still wasn't willing to let anyone examine the wound closely. The Doc was pretty sure the nose wasn't broken, and just as sure that cleaning and stitching was going to require sedation.

The sedation required a respiratory specialist, and Conan had to have an IV. It took four of us to get the IV in him - not because of the needle, but because of the tape and soft bandage they wrapped over the IV on his wrist. THAT really freaked him out. He struggled madly to try and rip it off, nearly succeeding. Eventually he calmed down and they were able to start giving him the Ketamine.

He was so keyed up that it required 3x the expected dose to sedate him.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he was sedated and the doctor was able to clean and examine the wound. Then he was ready for the stitches. They placed a white paper cover over Conan with a 4 inch circle cut out through which the Doc would work. Somehow, that was too much for me. Seeing my baby disappear behind that white sheet, with only his bloody little nose showing, made me feel light headed, nauseous and weak in the knees. I had to go sit down.

Four stitches and a Snoopy band-aid later, it was all finished. A nurse stayed to monitor Conan as he slept off the Ketamine, but the Doctor and the respiratory specialist left. We were able to breathe and take stock of what we'd just been through. What an ordeal! Thank goodness that it was just a flesh wound, it makes me shudder to think - it could have been so much worse.

I also realized that I had been really afraid, in an irrational way, that coming to the ER was a mistake. I have a strange reluctance about the ER. When I was a kid, we were kind of poor and lived over an hour from the ER, with the result being that we only went if it was really, really, REALLY serious. Otherwise, Mom treated us at home, and then we went to the regular doctor a few days later if we needed follow-up care. So the whole time we were at the hospital yesterday, I was feeling a guilty sort of anxiety, that they were going to say I was over-reacting, that I should have been able to take care of Conan myself, that we really had no business burdening the ER with this little cut. And yet, it was unquestionably the right choice to take him there. Recognizing that this fear was completely unfounded was a good lesson for me.

We made it home a little after 5 pm, with a groggy, woozy and REALLY-happy-to-be-home little boy. We plunked him down on the couch and let him watch as many cartoons as he wanted. He ate a decent dinner and went to bed a little early. This morning he seems fine, there's very little bruising and swelling around his wound. We're going to stay home, take it easy, and count our blessings.

Happy Birthday Conan

Conan turned 2 on Sunday Dec 12th, and we had a BIG party on Saturday with 43 (!) guests ranging in age from 3 months to 90. Everyone had a great time; all the kids played well together, there were no big tantrums, no-one got sick or hurt, and nothing was broken - pretty amazing considering how many young children we had in the house for 4 hours! It really was a blast - THE party of the year.

There were Cupcakes:




And lots of balloons


And friends of all ages, from near and far



And Grandmas and Grandpas and Great Grandmas too, of course


And lots of new books to read


And a big red wagon filled with toys

And a bright red tricycle for our big boy!

(Cousin Chloe liked Red Trike a lot too)

And we even have some video:

Happy Birthday Conan! We love you very much.

Visiting Plain

Chloe turned two on November 14th, and I was able to take Friday and Monday off work so that Conan and I could make a trip over to Plain to help celebrate. We had lots of fun with Poppy and Debbie. Conan got to drive a tractor, pet a real horsie, play chase with Ginger (the most tolerant cat EVER), pound nails in uncle Jon's house, play in snow, "ride" Gracie the dog, and of course play with his cousin. I also picked (and ate) wild chantrelles, went for walks in the beautiful autumn woods, and spent a nice amount of time sipping tea and visiting with my folks. It's nice to be home now, but it sure was good to spend a few days back in Plain.

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

We scored a nice kid's easel at the consignment store for $10, and Conan's really enjoying playing artist. He's quite enthusiastic, and occasionally has trouble confining himself to his canvas. This particular work took barely as much time as it takes Mama to put the groceries in the fridge and feed the cats.


I will add that Melissa & Doug's Non-Toxic Dry Erase Markers come off of skin, clothes and hair really, really easily. Which is a bit of a relief.

Tickee Teet! Happy Ween!

Halloween weekend was a lot of fun. On Saturday we went with the Lease's to downtown Bellingham to trick or treat. All the downtown merchants give out candy and it's a lot of fun for the little ones, a good daytime practice for more advanced neighborhood trick-or-treating later. It took a little while for Conan to get the hang of it but he was soon charging right up to the candy bowl and saying "tickee-teet" and "happy ween" with the best of 'em. We ended at Boundary Bay for beers and food and finally some well-deserved candy. Conan's mouth was bright blue by the time we left, and he and Olive were bouncing off the walls, the chairs, and the legs of the very patient waitstaff.

On Sunday we went and visited Great Grandma Marjorie at Highland nursing home before going to the Columbia neighborhood for some really amazing trick-or-treating. We were accompanied by Brian, Abby, Chloe and Grandpa Dave, as well as some other friends. Brian had a really amazing Chewbacca costume, and Chloe was the cutest little Ewok. After trick-or-treating we went back to the Mapes place for apple pie and ice cream, and of course ate some more candy.

Cake Song

1. I don't think he's ever seen anyone play the drum and sing, but he seems to know how it's done.

2. We hardly ever have cake (the last time I can remember was at my Cousin's wedding in July). Apparently it made quite the impression.

3. Yes, he has better rhythm than either of his parents.

True Story

I've been in Orlando, FL for a trade show during the last 5 days. I left after work on Wednesday the 13th and didn't get home until 2 am this morning, so it had been a looooonnnng time since Conan had seen me. So this morning when we heard him stirring, we went into his room together to wake him up, anticipating an enthusiastic greeting for his long-lost Mama. He sat up in his bed and Cary said "Conan, guess who's here?" in an excited voice. Conan paused a moment, looked at me, and then responded "Dayd?" with a happy little chirp of anticipation. Mama, schmama - what would REALLY be exciting would be to have Grandpa Dave dropping by first thing in the morning. We had a good laugh, and then Conan and I had a nice reunion cuddle. He does love me, after all.

Executive Baby

Workin' from home with Mama today. Typing, writing, calculating, and of course, talking on the phone. Looks like management material to me!

Pumpkins!

Today we went to the Cloud Mountain Farm Harvest festival. This was Conan's second year attending, and he really had a lot of fun. We met up with Marci, Silas, Cohen, Charlotte and Bellatrix as well as lots of other moms and kids we recognized from around town - it's really an extremely toddler-friendly event. There were several free activities for the kidlets. The first thing Conan did was to decorate a small flower pot and plant a little lavender seedling in it.
He is quite the artist, so it took a long time before he declared his pot finished and ready to plant.

He enjoyed spooning the dirt into his pot, but he was a little suspicious of the lavender seedling I stuck in there. He pulled it out a couple of times before he decided it was OK to have a plant in his dirt. Only time will tell if it will survive, but we can replace it if needed.

We tasted some berries and grapes, sampled some cider, and ate delicious Mallard's Ice Cream. But the biggest hit by far was the giant pumpkin. Besides the big one, there was a large pile of more moderately sized pumpkins, and a wagon-load of squash and gourds to boot. The kids had a lot of fun looking at all the different colors and shapes, and of course many pictures were taken.

I should point out that Conan did not wear his orange fleece as part of any pre-meditated parental photo setup - I'm far too much of a scatterbrain to have planned that far in advance. But it DOES look really nice with the pumpkins.

I really like this one. It's just perfect.

Even baby Trix got into the posing with pumpkins, although she wasn't too sure about that tricky balancing.
Next year I'm sure she'll be more excited about it. :)

Favorite Toys

click to enlarge the image if you want to read the names of the toys

Conan is really starting to get attached to certain toys. Pictured above are his current favorites. It's interesting to see which toys he connects with - for example, his favorite animal may be the Elephant (aka Baboo) but he has shown very little interest in any of the stuffed Baboo toys we have offered him. He prefers the elephant puzzle piece from his animal board puzzle. Incidentally, if you were wondering, they are called Baboos because that is the sound they make, according to Conan. BaaaboooOOOOoooo!

He really likes animals, especially horses (Hort-sie), chickens (Bockies), and of course Baboos. Monkeys (Oo-oo), Sheep (Baa), Tigers (Tigah) and Cows (Moo) are also very popular. Balls of all shapes and sizes have always been a favorite. The wooden train was a gift from his great Aunt & Uncle, and ever since he got it he has loved taking his small toys for a ride in it. "Choo Choo" has become his word for any large, motorized vehicle - from trains to trucks and tractors to helicopters and airplanes. Cars, for reasons known only to Conan, are "Chaka Choo Choo".

And then there are Baby and Baa. These two, along with Baboo Blankie, nearly always accompany Conan to bed and require their own goodnight kisses from Mama. They often go with him to Grandma & Grandpa's house on Wednesdays, but they never go with Conan when he goes to Ya-ya's house, because Conan knows he doesn't want anyone else to play with them. They are his OWN. And that's just fine - every kid needs a special toy that he doesn't have to share.

It's really neat to watch as Conan's imagination grows and he invents little games to play with his toys. They are often subject to naps, along with frequent train rides. He is delighted to share his milk and snacks with them, as well as pretend food. Horsey runs and jumps all over the house and furniture. Sometimes Conan himself is a horsey trotting around the room; other times he is a doggie on his hands and knees carrying another toy in his mouth. It's simply wonderful.

Conan is calling

Conan loves to use the "hone" to call his favorite people: Dayd, Dee, Poppy, Dabbie, Kistee and Ya-Ya.* He's getting pretty good at talking when he's pretending, but still tends to get shy when there's really someone on the other end of the line, so it'll be a while yet before he's having real phone conversations. He's got the protocols down though - saying "Hi" and "Bye", pushing the buttons, even pacing while he talks. It's deadly cute. :)



*That's Grandpa Dave, Grandma Anita, Grandpa Dennis, Grandma Debbie, Christy and Olive, for those of you who don't speak Conan.

Deception Pass Camping Trip

We just got home from camping at Deception Pass. Whew! Much needed laundry and naps are in progress, and I'm enjoying a hot cup of tea and looking over the pictures. (Life is good.)


We had planned this trip for a while. We met up with the Ericsons, Taylors, all the Davis-es (Grandpa Will even made a surprise appearance), and Mark & Elna. We managed to fit everyone into two adjoining campsites, which was a lot of fun. Each family had chosen a meal to prepare for the group, and we ate WELL! Fiday night the kids ran around in circles playing until bedtime, and then the adults sat around the fire talking, making s'mores, drinking and telling stories late into the night.

During the morning Saturday we explored the Bowman Bay area of the park, playing on the playground equipment and on the beach. Little plastic shovels and buckets were a big hit with the kids. A washed-up piece of giant kelp on the beach also proved fascinating. We cut it open to show the kids the air pocket inside that would make it float - Moira was especially interested.

After lunch while the kids were napping some of us went out to Rosario Beach, where Gabe & Cynthia went for a short SCUBA dive, testing out their equipment and learning in the process that Gabe's drysuit has a leak. He came out of the water with his suit absolutely filled with water - I expect (nay, demand!) some video of it to appear on his site shortly.

The weather was pretty good, although it finished up a bit on the soggy side. We had beautiful weather all day Saturday, but at dusk it began to sprinkle and by the time we broke camp Sunday morning it was raining steadily. But hey, that's camping in Washington in September. The kids took refuge in the minivan, playing "drive" until the grown-ups could get all the soggy tents and stuff into the cars and then we came home to hot showers and our warm dry house.