My heart is so full of joy! Today the cutest, sweetest, most awesome 3 year old boy has come to live with us, and we are head over heals in love already. It will be several months before the law catches up and the adoption is finalized, but we've been a family of four since the moment he walked in the door.
Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Friday, March 28, 2014
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Adoption update
We have completed the Homestudy & Licencing Approval process! Now we wait to be selected as a good fit for a child in need of a family. That could happen in a week or in a year, there's no way to predict it.
It seems like it's been a long wait already, but we have had many, many things to do to get to this point. We decided to pursue adoption in February of 2013, then researched agencies and programs for several months before choosing WACAP's US Kids program and officially applying in May. From June to November we kept busy with our home safety upgrades, home visits, training classes, references, medical and legal clearances, and of course filling out loads of forms. Now all of that is done and the real WAITING begins.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Homestudy Complete!
It's done! We passed with flying colors, I think. It'll take a couple of weeks for the report to be written up, then we'll get a chance to proofread it, and then it'll be submitted. We have appointments to be fingerprinted next Tuesday, November 5th. And then everything gets sent off to the state for review and licencing. We could have our licence by the first of December, if all goes well!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Home Study Delayed
Well, today was supposed to be our final homestudy, but our Social Worker is sick and had to cancel. Bummer! We've rescheduled for next Wednesday afternoon, so it's not like we have to wait months and months, although it is still disappointing. The house is super clean, and most of the projects are done: we're ready. The fire extinguishers are hung, the fire-escape ladder is mounted, and the non-skid bathmats are in place. The bedroom is all set up, the closet and dresser cleared of clutter and ready for a new little person's belongings.
Even if the homestudy had been completed today, we'd still have a bit of waiting time left. Once the visit happens, the SW has to write up the report, which takes a couple weeks. When she's finished, we get to take a look at the draft report and have a chance to correct anything that's inaccurate, then it gets submitted to the licensing people. We also still have to get fingerprinted, which is scheduled for Nov. 5th. They are pretty cagey about how long it will take to process the prints and return the clearance, but it seems a week to 10 days is about average.
If all goes well, we could have our foster/adopt license approved by the end of November!
And then... then we will officially join the Prospective Adoptive Parent (PAP) pool, and the real waiting begins. Our file will be sent to social workers around the northwest who are trying to find homes for children whose cases are headed for adoption, rather than reunification with their birth families. These caseworkers will look over our files (and all the other PAPs) and if they think we're a good fit for the child, we'll get a call. It could take a week or it could take months... there's no way to predict it.
In light of that, waiting one more week for our homestudy to happen is probably just good practice.
Even if the homestudy had been completed today, we'd still have a bit of waiting time left. Once the visit happens, the SW has to write up the report, which takes a couple weeks. When she's finished, we get to take a look at the draft report and have a chance to correct anything that's inaccurate, then it gets submitted to the licensing people. We also still have to get fingerprinted, which is scheduled for Nov. 5th. They are pretty cagey about how long it will take to process the prints and return the clearance, but it seems a week to 10 days is about average.
If all goes well, we could have our foster/adopt license approved by the end of November!
And then... then we will officially join the Prospective Adoptive Parent (PAP) pool, and the real waiting begins. Our file will be sent to social workers around the northwest who are trying to find homes for children whose cases are headed for adoption, rather than reunification with their birth families. These caseworkers will look over our files (and all the other PAPs) and if they think we're a good fit for the child, we'll get a call. It could take a week or it could take months... there's no way to predict it.
In light of that, waiting one more week for our homestudy to happen is probably just good practice.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Adoption Update
"So, how's the adoption stuff coming along?" is a pretty frequent question these days. We're still plugging away at it, I usually say. Nothing to report yet. No timeline to completion, but we are making progress, slowly but surely. It's really hard to tell, though.
For those who are interested, I thought I'd take a moment to compile a more detailed list of what we've done, and what is left to do. It's kind of an esoteric process so it's good (for me at least) to see everything listed out in one place, and hopefully the Done list will come out longer than the To Do list!
We have:
For those who are interested, I thought I'd take a moment to compile a more detailed list of what we've done, and what is left to do. It's kind of an esoteric process so it's good (for me at least) to see everything listed out in one place, and hopefully the Done list will come out longer than the To Do list!
We have:
- answered 176 essay/short answer questions about ourselves (88 each! I counted!)
- answered 47 essay/short answer questions about our preparations and motivations
- filled out half a dozen pages, each, for our formal background checks
- gotten 4 couples to submit references on our behalf
- each had a physical and gotten a statement from our Dr. that we're healthy
- each been tested for TB & submitted results
- submitted Conan's immunization records
- submitted a copy of our marriage licence
- submitted copies of all of our birth certificates
- submitted copies of our 2011 and 2012 tax returns
- submitted a financial statement
- submitted copies of pay stubs
- submitted proof of car insurance
- submitted details of our health & dental insurance coverage
- submitted copies of our drivers' licences
- submitted our resumes/work histories
- attended a 1 day adoption orientation seminar
- taken a 3 hour online orientation class
- taken a 30 hour class on being a foster/adoptive parent
- taken a 6 hour class on First Aid, CPR, and Blood Borne Pathogens
- gotten a big fancy first aid kit
- installed fire extinguishers in our house, both upstairs & downstairs
- installed child safety window locks in upstairs windows
- gotten non-skid bathmats for both tubs
- gotten three locking boxes for medications (human internal, human external, pet)
- gotten a baby fence to block off the wood stove completely
- moved our liquor to an "inaccessible" cupboard
- moved our cleaning supplies to "inaccessible" places
- cleaned ALL the things
- passed our first home visit (Yay!)
Remaining tasks:
- answer 32 more essay/short answer questions (at least)
- take another 4 hour class on adoption
- get cats to the vet to update immunizations
- submit our cats' immunization records
- submit a guardianship plan (in case we die before the kid is 18)
- install a fire escape ladder on the second floor roof
- get septic pumped (and provide proof of it)
- get a kid-appropriate bed
- set up kid's bedroom before final home visit
- pass final home visit (Oct 24th!)
- get fingerprinted
- get clean background check results back
Whew! When all of that is done, we'll be licensed as Foster Parents in the state of WA. Yay! Then we can start waiting to be selected as a potential family for a child, which will be much, much more difficult than any of this stuff was. And even with all these preparations and questions and paperwork, the whole process is still MUCH preferable to being pregnant.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Prepare to be documented!
On Friday we received a 'welcome' packet from the adoption agency. Inside, along with some pretty pictures of smiling kids and letters congratulating us on deciding to adopt, were two CDs. On the CDs are lots and lots of forms, questionnaires, and checklists which we will need to complete as part of the homestudy process.
Now, I love a well documented administrative process as much (ok, probably more) than the next person. I am truly at home in bureaucracy. Compiling documents and data, marshaling affidavits, and navigating intricate, hierarchical processes is something I do very well. I actually enjoy filling out forms, checking boxes, attaching appendices and validating affidavits. But... wow. This is a daunting pile of paperwork to contemplate, even for me.
I know it's all important. Obviously, they need to know if we have criminal backgrounds, or are financially unstable, or religiously opposed to medical care. It makes sense to ask about our education, our relationships with our extended families, and our medical health. And naturally, there's going to be some regulations regarding the condition of our home and various safety protocols. We knew going into the process that there would be a lot of questions to answer. But seeing it all laid out in one place, one set of documents, well, it's just shy of overwhelming.
Of course, the agency'll help. Just having compiled all the documents and forms and questionnaires for us is a big help. I can already tell I'm going to love the checklists. Marriage licence? check. Birth certificates? check. Two years of tax info? check. Immunization records for the cats? check. Lock box for cat medicine, separate from lock box for human medicine? check. Fire escape ladders for each upstairs bedroom? check...
Now, I love a well documented administrative process as much (ok, probably more) than the next person. I am truly at home in bureaucracy. Compiling documents and data, marshaling affidavits, and navigating intricate, hierarchical processes is something I do very well. I actually enjoy filling out forms, checking boxes, attaching appendices and validating affidavits. But... wow. This is a daunting pile of paperwork to contemplate, even for me.
I know it's all important. Obviously, they need to know if we have criminal backgrounds, or are financially unstable, or religiously opposed to medical care. It makes sense to ask about our education, our relationships with our extended families, and our medical health. And naturally, there's going to be some regulations regarding the condition of our home and various safety protocols. We knew going into the process that there would be a lot of questions to answer. But seeing it all laid out in one place, one set of documents, well, it's just shy of overwhelming.
Of course, the agency'll help. Just having compiled all the documents and forms and questionnaires for us is a big help. I can already tell I'm going to love the checklists. Marriage licence? check. Birth certificates? check. Two years of tax info? check. Immunization records for the cats? check. Lock box for cat medicine, separate from lock box for human medicine? check. Fire escape ladders for each upstairs bedroom? check...
Thursday, May 02, 2013
Adoption: why?
One of the questions on the adoption application we are filling out (because we have finally chosen an agency, woo hoo! but more on that later) is simply, why have you chosen to adopt? It makes perfect sense to me that the adoption agency wants to know (I suspect "need more orphans to build the death ray" is the kind of answer that probably gets you disqualified) but I've been a little surprised at the interest in that same question in real life interactions. Since I had to write it out anyhow, I figured I'd put the answer here, as well. And expand on it a bit further than I did on the application, because I think will be important, later in the process, to remember exactly why we got started.
I've kind of always been intrigued by the idea of adoption. From an environmental sustainability point of view, having children is not great; overpopulation is a big issue. From a societal benefit point of view, it makes a lot of sense to me to adopt an already born child, rather than produce a new one, when there are already perfectly good kids out there in need of a home and family. And from a purely selfish point of view, I really didn't enjoy pregnancy and don't want to do it again, although there's no medical reason not to (we're not dealing with infertility or any kind of medical danger if I were to become pregnant again).
But these are not really why we're doing it. These are rational, intellectual reasons why adoption is a good fit for us, but to really kindle the kind of enthusiasm that is necessary to go into this process, you need emotion.
For me, the emotional kick came while I was driving home from work, one day in February, listening to the radio. Some kind of international official (I wasn't really paying attention, at least at first) had been sent to Syria to check on the situation there, and was being interviewed about what he had seen. The interviewer asked something like "what was the thing that really stood out to you, as you visited the refugee camps?" The reply was that the impact on the children had been especially hard to witness. He described a very young child, 3 or 4 years old, who had been scooped up by a neighbor or relative and saved from the bombing of their village, and was now in the camp. No one really knew if the rest of the child's family had been killed, or maybe were in a different camp, or what. There was very little organizational capacity available for reuniting families divided in this way, and of course food and shelter and general safety were much higher priorities overall.
It makes me cry, still, to think of how scary that would be for a child. I thought about Conan in that situation. Not knowing where he was, where mama and papa were, who would take care of him, or who would comfort him would be so overwhelming. I wanted to find that child, hug him or her, and make everything better. And then, I realized, I could. I could make things better for one kid, not that same kid in a Syrian refugee camp, obviously, but one kid somewhere that just wanted to be hugged and loved and told that everything would be alright. I can't solve all the problems in the world, but that one, right there, that's one I can manage.
I went home and told Cary the whole story, and that I thought we should adopt a kid. I pretty much expected him to talk me out of it. After all, we were happily settled into our life as a family of three, and had rebuffed all the friends and family who had asked us when we were going to have another kid firmly enough that the question had stopped coming.
But instead of talking me out of it, he just said yes. Yes we should. Let's do it.
We had more discussion after that, of course. We talked about the age range (2-3), gender (either), nationality & race (no preference), and of course we talked to Conan, gently, about how he would feel about having a little brother or sister (he's all for it). We did a bunch of research online, inquired with friends who have adopted about their experiences, corresponded with adoption agencies, got info packets in the mail and joined discussion groups.
This is a big process, and it will take a while to complete. We are just now at the point where we're formally applying to the agency we've selected. Soon we will start the homestudy process, which will take 3-6 months to complete, and then we will be waiting to be selected as a prospective family for a kid in need of one, which could take a year or more. It will probably be hard, not only to complete all the paperwork and background checks and whatnot, but also to keep our intent strong enough to make it through the waiting period.
So why adopt? Because someday, I will hug that little person tight, and tell him or her that it will be alright. And it will be.
I've kind of always been intrigued by the idea of adoption. From an environmental sustainability point of view, having children is not great; overpopulation is a big issue. From a societal benefit point of view, it makes a lot of sense to me to adopt an already born child, rather than produce a new one, when there are already perfectly good kids out there in need of a home and family. And from a purely selfish point of view, I really didn't enjoy pregnancy and don't want to do it again, although there's no medical reason not to (we're not dealing with infertility or any kind of medical danger if I were to become pregnant again).
But these are not really why we're doing it. These are rational, intellectual reasons why adoption is a good fit for us, but to really kindle the kind of enthusiasm that is necessary to go into this process, you need emotion.
For me, the emotional kick came while I was driving home from work, one day in February, listening to the radio. Some kind of international official (I wasn't really paying attention, at least at first) had been sent to Syria to check on the situation there, and was being interviewed about what he had seen. The interviewer asked something like "what was the thing that really stood out to you, as you visited the refugee camps?" The reply was that the impact on the children had been especially hard to witness. He described a very young child, 3 or 4 years old, who had been scooped up by a neighbor or relative and saved from the bombing of their village, and was now in the camp. No one really knew if the rest of the child's family had been killed, or maybe were in a different camp, or what. There was very little organizational capacity available for reuniting families divided in this way, and of course food and shelter and general safety were much higher priorities overall.
It makes me cry, still, to think of how scary that would be for a child. I thought about Conan in that situation. Not knowing where he was, where mama and papa were, who would take care of him, or who would comfort him would be so overwhelming. I wanted to find that child, hug him or her, and make everything better. And then, I realized, I could. I could make things better for one kid, not that same kid in a Syrian refugee camp, obviously, but one kid somewhere that just wanted to be hugged and loved and told that everything would be alright. I can't solve all the problems in the world, but that one, right there, that's one I can manage.
I went home and told Cary the whole story, and that I thought we should adopt a kid. I pretty much expected him to talk me out of it. After all, we were happily settled into our life as a family of three, and had rebuffed all the friends and family who had asked us when we were going to have another kid firmly enough that the question had stopped coming.
But instead of talking me out of it, he just said yes. Yes we should. Let's do it.
We had more discussion after that, of course. We talked about the age range (2-3), gender (either), nationality & race (no preference), and of course we talked to Conan, gently, about how he would feel about having a little brother or sister (he's all for it). We did a bunch of research online, inquired with friends who have adopted about their experiences, corresponded with adoption agencies, got info packets in the mail and joined discussion groups.
This is a big process, and it will take a while to complete. We are just now at the point where we're formally applying to the agency we've selected. Soon we will start the homestudy process, which will take 3-6 months to complete, and then we will be waiting to be selected as a prospective family for a kid in need of one, which could take a year or more. It will probably be hard, not only to complete all the paperwork and background checks and whatnot, but also to keep our intent strong enough to make it through the waiting period.
So why adopt? Because someday, I will hug that little person tight, and tell him or her that it will be alright. And it will be.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Oh, blog. We need to talk.
You see, well, lately, I'm just not that into you. It's spring and there's so much to do outside. And there's just not that much free time in general, between work and parenting and housekeeping and all the other things that take up my time. Certainly not enough time to sit down and write a thoughful essay post, complete with pictures all displayed in the correct order and alignment.
Not that there's really been anything worth writing about going on in my life, to be frank. Even I get bored of nothing but pictures of Conan being his usual cute self.
But if I'm going to be really, truly, deeply honest, the real culprit is Facebook.
Yep. There. I've said it.
It's just so much easier, so much quicker, and (this is big) I actually get comments and likes and feedback on stuff I post there. A couple of sentences and I'm done. Or a picture or two. No context needed, which is a real blessing when there's no real story to tell, just 'hey, my kid is cute!' or 'this place we went was pretty'.
Hell, I can even post pictures directly from my phone, no finding the cord, no downloading and sorting, nothing. (Ok, to be fair, there's probably a way to post pictures to the blog from my phone too. But I don't know how, and I'm not real inclined to go figure it out. Sorry.)
But! There's still hope for you, blog! Because... [drum roll please] ... we've decided to adopt another child!
The process is daunting and there are many, many things to learn, to evaluate, and surprises to discover. My best blogging has historically been about some kind of journey. First, it was building a house. Then, it was about getting married, and establishing a home. After that, pregnancy and parenthood. And now, the next adventure is adoption. It's going to be great, I promise.
Not that there's really been anything worth writing about going on in my life, to be frank. Even I get bored of nothing but pictures of Conan being his usual cute self.
But if I'm going to be really, truly, deeply honest, the real culprit is Facebook.
Yep. There. I've said it.
It's just so much easier, so much quicker, and (this is big) I actually get comments and likes and feedback on stuff I post there. A couple of sentences and I'm done. Or a picture or two. No context needed, which is a real blessing when there's no real story to tell, just 'hey, my kid is cute!' or 'this place we went was pretty'.
Hell, I can even post pictures directly from my phone, no finding the cord, no downloading and sorting, nothing. (Ok, to be fair, there's probably a way to post pictures to the blog from my phone too. But I don't know how, and I'm not real inclined to go figure it out. Sorry.)
But! There's still hope for you, blog! Because... [drum roll please] ... we've decided to adopt another child!
The process is daunting and there are many, many things to learn, to evaluate, and surprises to discover. My best blogging has historically been about some kind of journey. First, it was building a house. Then, it was about getting married, and establishing a home. After that, pregnancy and parenthood. And now, the next adventure is adoption. It's going to be great, I promise.
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